…, that if she gets dressed up and calls attention to her body, then gets drunk with strangers, then starts making out and fooling around with a teenage guy in a private room, that getting out of having sex with that person will at that point be difficult, and if she doesn’t want to do that thing, she should avoid that situation. And that if it does hap…
I rather disagree with this point — bringing condoms to a party is probably a smart safety precaution for girls and guys alike, and everyone should be free to dress and act as they choose, but none of that is carte blanche for someone else to force their will on us. I recall a few college parties where I ‘got lucky’ with a girl I just met, meaning I made out with them, even ended up in a private room, but the whole time I kept an eye out for how far she was willing to go, and as it turns out none of those encounters led to sex right then and there.
that’s the magic of human interaction, of courtship and intimacy, the balance of seeking & giving pleasure, the constant vigilance on what the other person wants at a precise moment, the give & take, advance & retreat, the dance. this is what we need to teach ourselves & our kids, that working with your partner to get to a place you both want to be is the most rewarding.