I should be going out for a Sunday run, but this fun read is keeping me in my seat. Couple of questions — do these men conspicuously not wear wedding bands? And since you say you meet some of them socially — what’s the context? Did you invite them out, did they invite you, or are they chance encounters? (you know Mr. and Mrs. Pence would not approve of any of these scenarios, but I digress … 😉)

The rest is speculation — full disclosure, I am happily married, and yet I still enjoy making personal connections, I greatly enjoy one-on-one conversations, with women or men, younger or older alike, and if the other party happens to be an attractive female that is a very tangible bonus. So again, just speculating:

  • maybe you have an uncanny ability to reach into someone’s soul, to make them open up, to turn a casual conversation into an intimate one (not in the sexual sense), and perhaps the reaction you describe is a knee-jerk defense mechanism to steer the other party away from what they perceive as “crossing a line”;
  • or, maybe they are in fact on the hunt for an affair, which explains the lack of a ring, and by revealing that they are married, they are “showing their cards”, so that the conversation can proceed toward intimacy without them having to explain their situation later. they are then looking for your reaction as either a green light to hit on you, or a red light to back off;
  • or, maybe in some cases you are coming onto them, consciously or not …

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store