These Reviews of New York City Landmarks Left Me Speechless

The Guggenheim

1071 5th Avenue

⋆⋆⋆⋆ Hidden Gem!

I almost want to keep this amazing find to myself! The unassuming exterior blends into its Central Park East surroundings. Like a dirty polar bear in a concrete enclosure. It fills me with pride that I even found it. It’s a gift few of us have, and I feel I must share my discovery with the world.

The building is designed by a little-known architect who in my opinion deserves SO much more recognition. (I think he was one of the Wright brothers, not one of the famous ones, the one who flunked out of flight school, but don’t quote me on that.)

You would never think, judging from the outside, but the main tower houses a large spiral walkway. With paintings. Which is cool, except the whole way down I was trying to figure out whether the frames are hung crooked, or is it just the floor.

Lots of paintings by French artists with blotchy but promising technique (helps if you squint), and a Dutch guy named Piet who was obviously deeply influenced by the L’Oreal Studio Line product design language.

Great gift shop! (minus one star because they were out of squishy Liberty crowns)

Ali’s Best Halal & Moshe’s Kosher on Wheels

Corner of 6th Avenue and 49th Street

⋆⋆⋆⋆⋆ World Peace, and Falafel!

Some people still hold a stigma toward food trucks. Why? Do you know a full-service restaurant that you can completely hose down at the end of the day?

I love Ali & Moshe, they always park next to each other, rain or shine, when not serving customers they are yakking it up about this and that. Their joy is infectious. I tell you, you put these guys in charge over at the U.N. for a week, they will solve world hunger, and hammer out a Middle East peace accord!

White sauce, hot sauce, l’chaim!

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Liberty Inn

51 10th Avenue

⋆⋆⋆⋆ ½ Clean!

Like its spiritual big brother, the Flatiron Building, the Liberty Inn is triangle shaped. But this is where the similarities end. While the Flatiron is an architectural icon and the namesake of an entire New York City neighborhood, the Liberty is a lowly red-brick structure housing an establishment that rents rooms by the hour.

Due to its strategic location in the shady-turned-trendy Meatpacking District, near the West Side Highway and the Hudson River piers, the Liberty Inn has been a destination of horny sailors, teenagers in need of privacy and successful first Tinder dates for over a century.

Loved the ceiling mirrors! Surprisingly cozy and clean.

Perfect for a morning or afternoon fuck, before heading for a bite at the Chelsea Market, an exhibit at the Whitney Museum, or a stroll on the Highline.

Of course, the problem with having a Jacuzzi in a hotel that rents by the hour is that if you get pregnant in there, you’ll have NO idea who the daddy is …

Editor of No Crime in Rhymin' and Language Lab | the Woke Bloke ..."come for the sarcasm, stay for my soft side"

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