What They Were Really Thinking

in that instant classic G7 group photo

Joe Váradi reporting from La Malbaie, Quebec, Canada

  1. Donald Trump, US president

Eenie, Meenie, Miny, Mo, Angela Merkel is such a … focus Donnie, focus!

2. John Bolton, US national security adviser

Holy tingling mustachio! My gut says Waterboard Her — but the rest of me is SO turned on right now …

3. Kazuyuki Yamazaki, Japanese senior deputy minister for foreign affairs

Really? I came all this way to find out that beavertail is just fried dough with maple syrup?

4. Shinzo Abe, Japan’s prime minister

I’ll have what she’s having.

5. Yasutoshi Nishimura, Japanese deputy chief cabinet secretary

This will make a killer campaign poster when I go after Shinzo’s job next year …

6. Angela Merkel, German chancellor

Allow me to paraphrase Sheryl Sandberg, Mein Herr: When a whiny little man-bitch starts to give you shit, you best Lean In, girl!

7. Emmanuel Macron, French president

Say hello to my little Communiqué!

8. Theresa May, UK prime minister

I find all this insufferably unproductive and bloody disappointing — time to Brexit this shipwreck

9. Unidentified

Mr. Trump, I am from Hudson’s Bay menswear. Is this a good time to measure you for that Kim Jong Un matching pinstripe leisure suit … ?

Written by

Editor of No Crime in Rhymin' and Language Lab | the Woke Bloke ..."come for the sarcasm, stay for my soft side"

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