Joe Váradi reporting from La Malbaie, Quebec, Canada
- Donald Trump, US president
Eenie, Meenie, Miny, Mo, Angela Merkel is such a … focus Donnie, focus!
2. John Bolton, US national security adviser
Holy tingling mustachio! My gut says Waterboard Her — but the rest of me is SO turned on right now …
3. Kazuyuki Yamazaki, Japanese senior deputy minister for foreign affairs
Really? I came all this way to find out that beavertail is just fried dough with maple syrup?
4. Shinzo Abe, Japan’s prime minister
I’ll have what she’s having.
5. Yasutoshi Nishimura, Japanese deputy chief cabinet secretary
This will make a killer campaign poster when I go after Shinzo’s job next year …
6. Angela Merkel, German chancellor
Allow me to paraphrase Sheryl Sandberg, Mein Herr: When a whiny little man-bitch starts to give you shit, you best Lean In, girl!
7. Emmanuel Macron, French president
Say hello to my little Communiqué!
8. Theresa May, UK prime minister
I find all this insufferably unproductive and bloody disappointing — time to Brexit this shipwreck
Mr. Trump, I am from Hudson’s Bay menswear. Is this a good time to measure you for that Kim Jong Un matching pinstripe leisure suit … ?